Death Came Third, A Short Story in 498 words

I had been thinking of this as an idea for a story for some months, so I used it when my writers' group, in conjunction with another group in Bournemouth, held a competition for a 500-word story with the theme 'Fear'.

I was extremely pleased when it won that competition, but what do you think of it? Please post your Comment below.


Jack Adams drew a long slow breath, located the knot in his stomach and focused on it, before confidently starting the final speech he would ever make.

He used to hate public speaking, before joining Manhattan Toastmasters.

Encouraged by his wife, Nancy, every other Thursday night he watched his compatriots make speeches, and listened to the Evaluators’ feedback.

The thought of actually making a speech made Jack’s skin tingle with dread, and the prospect of being evaluated took him back to school, and the humiliation inflicted by his teachers’ taunts.

His first speech was a disaster. He developed a stammer, forgot his name, and stood rooted to the spot, as if awaiting a firing squad. Afterwards he rushed home, and didn’t go back, claiming ‘pressure of work’ gave him no time to attend.

Business was tough and customers constantly demanded more bang for less bucks. Jack was the back office guy, making sure the paperwork was right, working out how to implement his partner’s wild schemes. Spike was the deal maker, and they tolerated each other, just, until the day a journalist called the office.

“Jack, I’m working on a story about loan sharks for The Chronicle. Spike’s name came up. Did you know he’s using your business as collateral to fund his gambling?”

Ten minutes later Jack was yelling down the phone:

“Why Spike? I’m the one mortgaged to the hilt. This could ruin me!”

By the time he hung up, Jack had decided that Spike would have to go, and he had the germ of a plan. There would be a fight, a death, and a plea of self defence. There would also be a court appearance, which he needed to be ready for, so he returned to Toastmasters, with new motivation and enthusiasm.

He read the New York Times study asking what people feared most. Death came third. The top two fears were walking into a room of strangers and public speaking. He learned to use his words and body to get his point across, to use logic to convince, and emotion to persuade.

One night he asked Spike to meet him at home, walked him to the garage, stuck a chisel in his chest, and called 911. He was arrested, and charged with Manslaughter.

Nancy, enraged by the sight of the muscular corpse which had thrilled her on every other Thursday night told only one lie in her statement to the police, that Jack had known about her and Spike.

Jack’s trial was now for murder, a capital offence, and the Evaluators in court pronounced him a cold, calculating coward. They said he made an eloquent defendant, but he should avoid contradicting his lovely wife.

Sentenced to death, several years later he hobbled along the corridor to the execution chamber, and stepped out to face the audience.

Jack Adams drew a long slow breath, located the knot in his stomach and focused on it, before confidently starting the final speech he would ever make.

(Word Count 498)